According to sources close to No.10, the backlash to Michael Gove’s appointment as Environment Secretary was entirely expected.
Gove is known for taking a dim view on climate change as well as caring not a jot for the natural beauty of the United Kingdom. A spokesperson for Downing Street said: “Theresa already knows she’s made a right balls up recently and now she’s just taking the piss, she looked at Gove’s record on the environment, saw it was awful and said ‘that’ll wind up the public, he’ll do.’”
Gove has already drawn up plans to ban greenery in gardens, burn all woodland and expand fox hunting not just to other animals but to an urban environment. He said: “I think fox hunting gets a bad press because people associate it with toffs but what we’re saying is that now everybody is free to go out, maim and butcher any animal they see at will with whatever weapon they choose.”
Having such a mad bastard on board is sure to attract the favour of the equally deranged DUP who believe that climate change is man made con and that if it’s God’s will we should all drown as the sea levels rise then so be it. They said: “It’s wonderful to see the conservatives appointing a man who has so little care for the environment, praise be to Jesus. We welcome this move as he shows all the attributes we look for in our own candidates, praise be to Jesus.” This appointment comes after Gove’s failed tenure as Education Secretary.